Ain't It Cool News is reporting some totally made up bullshit about 01-18-08/Cloverfield/Cheese/Voltron/Godzilla/Son of Kong/Captain Planet/Who Cares. "Sources" describe a new scene involving Rob, some guys from Army, and Nicole Richie bleeding from the eyes.
I dunno man, I'm kinda bored with this whole thing already. Feels like it totally blew its load way too early. Through no fault of the people behind it, mind you. I blame all the rampant "internet sleuths" for trampling this thing into the ground before it even left the gate.
Anyway, if you're tired of hearing about this too, here's something else for you.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Runnin' with the Devil
Hell is hosting the Ice Capades and pigs have taken to the skies, Van Halen is going on tour with David Lee Roth for the first time since 1985. Sort of.
Eddie Van Halen + Alex Van Halen + David Lee Roth - Michael Anthony ≠ Van Halen
Eddie is an idiot if he thinks this is going to work with his 16 year old son taking Michael Anthony's place. Michael Anthony was responsible for at least 50% of the vocal duties in Van Halen. All those high backing vocals, that's Michael Anthony. The fact is, David Lee Roth couldn't sing live even back in Van Halen's heyday. Michael Anthony was there to carry Dave when he was too drunk/stupid/bad at singing to hit the notes himself. Without that net, and with Dave being 25 years older, they don't stand a chance. Eddie fucks up yet again.
This is gonna be a train wreck of epic proportions. Sign me up!
On a positive note, Alex Van Halen will still probably sound excellent.
On a strange note, has anyone seen a picture of Alex Van Halen lately? He looks like an old black man.
And as an added bonus, here's DLR drunk onstage at the US Festival in '83. The single greatest moment in live Van Halen history occurs at the 1:37 (-2:55) mark.
Eddie Van Halen + Alex Van Halen + David Lee Roth - Michael Anthony ≠ Van Halen
Eddie is an idiot if he thinks this is going to work with his 16 year old son taking Michael Anthony's place. Michael Anthony was responsible for at least 50% of the vocal duties in Van Halen. All those high backing vocals, that's Michael Anthony. The fact is, David Lee Roth couldn't sing live even back in Van Halen's heyday. Michael Anthony was there to carry Dave when he was too drunk/stupid/bad at singing to hit the notes himself. Without that net, and with Dave being 25 years older, they don't stand a chance. Eddie fucks up yet again.
This is gonna be a train wreck of epic proportions. Sign me up!
On a positive note, Alex Van Halen will still probably sound excellent.
On a strange note, has anyone seen a picture of Alex Van Halen lately? He looks like an old black man.
And as an added bonus, here's DLR drunk onstage at the US Festival in '83. The single greatest moment in live Van Halen history occurs at the 1:37 (-2:55) mark.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
From Grindhouse to Shithouse
Soooo, Planet Terror and Death Proof are being released on dvd separately and a month apart. Each gets a two disc set with extra footage (plus the “missing reels” restored), but no mention of a theatrical version and a restored version without all the aging and stuff (as previously rumored). Also, no trailers. At all. On either set. Totally lame. I’ll netflix it. Way to fuck up every aspect of releasing and promoting this movie Weinstiens.
If they were disappointed with box office sales, they’re gonna be even more disappointed with dvd sales. They lost a huge amount of their potential box office audience because their marketing/advertising on the internet was completely non-existent. Everyone in the movie was running around to every talk show they could get to. They had the entire cast on the fucking Tyra Banks Show! (this is a shitty clip someone made from their tv with a webcam or something, but you can see that everyone is there) But there was absolutely nothing online. No ads, no myspace, I’m not even sure if there was an official website.
Did someone really think the housewives that watch Tyra Banks’s show were going to jump at the chance to see Planet Terror? And who watches Late Night talk shows for news about upcoming releases? I watch them because they’re on every night and they’re easy to fall asleep to. Most of the time I don’t even make it to the first guest on Conan. So they totally missed about 80% of their audience right there. If they had so much as a myspace page, I bet the box office would have doubled. And even the advertising and marketing they did apparently didn’t do its job because people were walking out after Planet Terror because they didn’t realize there were two movies. Theatres were posting ushers at the exits to remind people that there was another movie coming up.
So, take the number of people who went to see the movie, subtract those who mistakenly walked out after Planet Terror, then subtract the people that stayed but hated Death Proof, then subtract all the people that were going to buy the dvd until they heard it would cost them $60 to get both movies and even then they wouldn’t get the trailers (which were some people’s favorite part), and you’re left with very slim pickings when it comes to dvd sales. And bad dvd sales do not equal second edition.
This was a fuck-up of gigantic proportions. There are so many ways this could have been handled better.
On a lighter note, I saw this Grindhouse book the other day and it looks really cool. I may have to pick it up in the future.
If they were disappointed with box office sales, they’re gonna be even more disappointed with dvd sales. They lost a huge amount of their potential box office audience because their marketing/advertising on the internet was completely non-existent. Everyone in the movie was running around to every talk show they could get to. They had the entire cast on the fucking Tyra Banks Show! (this is a shitty clip someone made from their tv with a webcam or something, but you can see that everyone is there) But there was absolutely nothing online. No ads, no myspace, I’m not even sure if there was an official website.
Did someone really think the housewives that watch Tyra Banks’s show were going to jump at the chance to see Planet Terror? And who watches Late Night talk shows for news about upcoming releases? I watch them because they’re on every night and they’re easy to fall asleep to. Most of the time I don’t even make it to the first guest on Conan. So they totally missed about 80% of their audience right there. If they had so much as a myspace page, I bet the box office would have doubled. And even the advertising and marketing they did apparently didn’t do its job because people were walking out after Planet Terror because they didn’t realize there were two movies. Theatres were posting ushers at the exits to remind people that there was another movie coming up.
So, take the number of people who went to see the movie, subtract those who mistakenly walked out after Planet Terror, then subtract the people that stayed but hated Death Proof, then subtract all the people that were going to buy the dvd until they heard it would cost them $60 to get both movies and even then they wouldn’t get the trailers (which were some people’s favorite part), and you’re left with very slim pickings when it comes to dvd sales. And bad dvd sales do not equal second edition.
This was a fuck-up of gigantic proportions. There are so many ways this could have been handled better.
On a lighter note, I saw this Grindhouse book the other day and it looks really cool. I may have to pick it up in the future.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Holy Viral Marketing Batman!
01-18-08
I’ve been reading all about it on AICN for weeks. Almost getting tired of hearing about it because people just won’t give it a rest despite the fact that nothing significant has come to light for a couple weeks (the latest big revelation? The title they’re using on set is “Cheese”. Big fucking deal). But it’s been kind of quiet this week, so that’s been a nice break of sorts. Guess there was some other news happening so everyone could stop repeating the same theories ad nauseam.
That said, the trailer was cool. The website with the movable pictures isn’t as interesting to me as it seems to be to everyone else. I haven’t even bothered with the Slusho site. Too much garbage to sift through when I could just wait for someone else to find something significant.
Viral marketing’s cool, but it’s annoying when something is talked about so much that it gets old within 24 hours and you’re tired of hearing about it before it even has the chance to do anything but put out a mysterious trailer. Especially when people are so desperate to figure it out instead of waiting patiently and letting it play out, that they start grasping at anything that might potentially be a clue and end up wasting countless hours on what turns out to be a puzzle site for a completely unrelated video game’s viral marketing campaign. Which is thereby ruined once it comes to light that it has nothing to do with the original project everyone is scrambling to figure out. “Sorry a bunch of rabid lunatics ruined your viral marketing by mistaking it for someone else’s viral marketing.” That sounds so absurd. But watch, when this viral marketing shit isn’t just a few and far between deal, but everyone is using it for everything, there will be situations like this all the time. One campaign will accidentally be absorbed by another, completely ruining one or both in the process.
Now, an example of a viral marketing campaign done right in every way: The Dark Knight. Everyone knows about it, but it’s not over-hyped like “Cloverfield”. It’s being done in a very calculated and genius way. The games, the cooperative scavenger hunt at Comic Con (including skywriting, creepy recorded phone messages), the anonymous defaced playing cards and dollar bills being randomly scattered across metropolitan areas, the mysterious websites. Pure genius. If someone were to write an instructional book on viral marketing, they could just outline this campaign. The End.
I don’t know if this 1-18-08/“Cloverfield”/“Cheese” thing is going to end up being anything special, or just another big spark with little bang. But I can guarantee you that The Dark Knight is gonna be awesome. That has a lot to do with the people involved, but the excellent marketing sure isn’t hurting.
I’ve been reading all about it on AICN for weeks. Almost getting tired of hearing about it because people just won’t give it a rest despite the fact that nothing significant has come to light for a couple weeks (the latest big revelation? The title they’re using on set is “Cheese”. Big fucking deal). But it’s been kind of quiet this week, so that’s been a nice break of sorts. Guess there was some other news happening so everyone could stop repeating the same theories ad nauseam.
That said, the trailer was cool. The website with the movable pictures isn’t as interesting to me as it seems to be to everyone else. I haven’t even bothered with the Slusho site. Too much garbage to sift through when I could just wait for someone else to find something significant.
Viral marketing’s cool, but it’s annoying when something is talked about so much that it gets old within 24 hours and you’re tired of hearing about it before it even has the chance to do anything but put out a mysterious trailer. Especially when people are so desperate to figure it out instead of waiting patiently and letting it play out, that they start grasping at anything that might potentially be a clue and end up wasting countless hours on what turns out to be a puzzle site for a completely unrelated video game’s viral marketing campaign. Which is thereby ruined once it comes to light that it has nothing to do with the original project everyone is scrambling to figure out. “Sorry a bunch of rabid lunatics ruined your viral marketing by mistaking it for someone else’s viral marketing.” That sounds so absurd. But watch, when this viral marketing shit isn’t just a few and far between deal, but everyone is using it for everything, there will be situations like this all the time. One campaign will accidentally be absorbed by another, completely ruining one or both in the process.
Now, an example of a viral marketing campaign done right in every way: The Dark Knight. Everyone knows about it, but it’s not over-hyped like “Cloverfield”. It’s being done in a very calculated and genius way. The games, the cooperative scavenger hunt at Comic Con (including skywriting, creepy recorded phone messages), the anonymous defaced playing cards and dollar bills being randomly scattered across metropolitan areas, the mysterious websites. Pure genius. If someone were to write an instructional book on viral marketing, they could just outline this campaign. The End.
I don’t know if this 1-18-08/“Cloverfield”/“Cheese” thing is going to end up being anything special, or just another big spark with little bang. But I can guarantee you that The Dark Knight is gonna be awesome. That has a lot to do with the people involved, but the excellent marketing sure isn’t hurting.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Concert Season (Summer Edition) UPDATED
FREE SHOWS
Friday June 22
Dave Attel
with John Mulaney, Joe DeRosa, Amy Schumer, Kurt Metzger, Ted Alexandro
Central Park Summer Stage
7:30pm-10pm
Saturday June 23
MC Chris
Passout Records
131 Grand St. (btwn. Bedford & Berry)
4pm-8pm
Sunday June 24
Ted Nugent
Nokia Theatre
7pm doors
(this one's almost free. If you go HERE and use the password "catscratch", it'll give you the tickets for free, you just have to pay all the bullshit Ticketmaster charges. Which comes out to about $9/ticket if you buy two. The more you buy, the cheaper each one is. Who wants to get a group together and party with The Nuge? C'mon people, you know he's gonna play "Cat Scratch Fever", "Stranglehold", and "Great White Buffalo". Maybe he'll shoot something with an arrow!)
Monday July 9
MC Hammer, Doug E Fresh, Slick Rick & MC Lyte
part of Martin Luther King Jr. Concert Series
Wingate Field
at Winthrop Street (btwn Brooklyn Ave & Kingston Ave)
7:30pm
Wednesday July 11
Spoon
part of River to River Festival
Rockefeller Park
(at River Terrace & Warren St)
7pm
Thursday July 19
UCB Theatre's Comedy Cabaret
featuring Human Giant, Demetri Martin, Rebecca Drysdale, The Defibulators
Central Park Summer Stage
7:30pm-10pm
Saturday July 21
Siren Music Festival
Coney Island
All day
Lineup (so far & in no particular order)
New York Dolls
M.I.A.
Voxtrot
Cursive
White Rabbits
We Are Scientists
The Black Lips
Dr. Dog
Noisettes
Lavender Diamond
The Detroit Cobras
Elvis Perkins
The Twilight Sad
Matt & Kim
Sunday July 22
Brazilian Girls
with Cat Empire, HIMALAYAS (conducted by Kenny Wollesen & Jonathon Haffner)
Central Park Summer Stage
3pm-7pm
Thursday July 26
Hippiefest
part of Seaside Summer Concert Series
Asser Levy/Seaside Park
(at West 5th St & Surf Ave)
7:30pm
Lineup includes (in no particular order)
Iron Butterfly
Mountain (featuring Leslie West & Corky Laing)
The Turtles (featuring Flo & Eddie)
The Zombies (featuring Colin Blunstone & Rod Argent)
Country Joe McDonald
Felix Cavaliere's Rascals
Denny Laine (co-founder of Moody Blues & Wings)
Joey Molland's Badfinger
Mitch Ryder
Mark Farner (formerly of Grand Funk Railroad)
Sunday August 5
Blonde Redhead
with I'm From Bercelona & The Coy Dogs
part of the Helio & JellyNYC Pool Parties
McCarren Park Pool
at Lorimer St (btwn Driggs Ave & Bayard Ave)
3pm
(requires rsvp, see the site for details)
Monday August 6
Lauryn Hill
with special guests
part of Martin Luther King Jr. Concert Series
Wingate Field
at Winthrop Street (btwn Brooklyn Ave & Kingston Ave)
7:30pm
Thursday August 9
The B52's
with Patty Smyth and Scandal
part of Seaside Summer Concert Series
Asser Levy/Seaside Park
(at West 5th St & Surf Ave)
7:30pm
Sunday August 12
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists
with The Thermals & Birds of Avalon
part of the Helio & JellyNYC Pool Parties
McCarren Park Pool
at Lorimer St (btwn Driggs Ave & Bayard Ave)
3pm
(requires rsvp, see the site for details)
NOT SO FREE SHOWS
Friday June 22 & Saturday June 23
Violent Femmes
with John Kruth
Warsaw
261 Driggs Ave (btwn Leonard St & Eckford St)
8pm
$25
Tuesday July 24
The White Stripes
with Grinderman
Madison Square Garden
8pm
$49.50 ($39.50 for the upper level 400 section)
Wednesday August 8
Beastie Boys
Central Park Summer Stage
7pm-10pm (doors 5:30pm)
$50
Thursday August 9
Beastie Boys
McCarren Park Pool
at Lorimer St (btwn Driggs Ave & Bayard Ave)
5:30pm doors
$49
Thursday August 9
The Black Crowes
Central Park Summer Stage
6pm-10pm (doors 4:30pm)
$45
Friday June 22
Dave Attel
with John Mulaney, Joe DeRosa, Amy Schumer, Kurt Metzger, Ted Alexandro
Central Park Summer Stage
7:30pm-10pm
Saturday June 23
MC Chris
Passout Records
131 Grand St. (btwn. Bedford & Berry)
4pm-8pm
Sunday June 24
Ted Nugent
Nokia Theatre
7pm doors
(this one's almost free. If you go HERE and use the password "catscratch", it'll give you the tickets for free, you just have to pay all the bullshit Ticketmaster charges. Which comes out to about $9/ticket if you buy two. The more you buy, the cheaper each one is. Who wants to get a group together and party with The Nuge? C'mon people, you know he's gonna play "Cat Scratch Fever", "Stranglehold", and "Great White Buffalo". Maybe he'll shoot something with an arrow!)
Monday July 9
MC Hammer, Doug E Fresh, Slick Rick & MC Lyte
part of Martin Luther King Jr. Concert Series
Wingate Field
at Winthrop Street (btwn Brooklyn Ave & Kingston Ave)
7:30pm
Wednesday July 11
Spoon
part of River to River Festival
Rockefeller Park
(at River Terrace & Warren St)
7pm
Thursday July 19
UCB Theatre's Comedy Cabaret
featuring Human Giant, Demetri Martin, Rebecca Drysdale, The Defibulators
Central Park Summer Stage
7:30pm-10pm
Saturday July 21
Siren Music Festival
Coney Island
All day
Lineup (so far & in no particular order)
New York Dolls
M.I.A.
Voxtrot
Cursive
White Rabbits
We Are Scientists
The Black Lips
Dr. Dog
Noisettes
Lavender Diamond
The Detroit Cobras
Elvis Perkins
The Twilight Sad
Matt & Kim
Sunday July 22
Brazilian Girls
with Cat Empire, HIMALAYAS (conducted by Kenny Wollesen & Jonathon Haffner)
Central Park Summer Stage
3pm-7pm
Thursday July 26
Hippiefest
part of Seaside Summer Concert Series
Asser Levy/Seaside Park
(at West 5th St & Surf Ave)
7:30pm
Lineup includes (in no particular order)
Iron Butterfly
Mountain (featuring Leslie West & Corky Laing)
The Turtles (featuring Flo & Eddie)
The Zombies (featuring Colin Blunstone & Rod Argent)
Country Joe McDonald
Felix Cavaliere's Rascals
Denny Laine (co-founder of Moody Blues & Wings)
Joey Molland's Badfinger
Mitch Ryder
Mark Farner (formerly of Grand Funk Railroad)
Sunday August 5
Blonde Redhead
with I'm From Bercelona & The Coy Dogs
part of the Helio & JellyNYC Pool Parties
McCarren Park Pool
at Lorimer St (btwn Driggs Ave & Bayard Ave)
3pm
(requires rsvp, see the site for details)
Monday August 6
Lauryn Hill
with special guests
part of Martin Luther King Jr. Concert Series
Wingate Field
at Winthrop Street (btwn Brooklyn Ave & Kingston Ave)
7:30pm
Thursday August 9
The B52's
with Patty Smyth and Scandal
part of Seaside Summer Concert Series
Asser Levy/Seaside Park
(at West 5th St & Surf Ave)
7:30pm
Sunday August 12
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists
with The Thermals & Birds of Avalon
part of the Helio & JellyNYC Pool Parties
McCarren Park Pool
at Lorimer St (btwn Driggs Ave & Bayard Ave)
3pm
(requires rsvp, see the site for details)
NOT SO FREE SHOWS
Friday June 22 & Saturday June 23
Violent Femmes
with John Kruth
Warsaw
261 Driggs Ave (btwn Leonard St & Eckford St)
8pm
$25
Tuesday July 24
The White Stripes
with Grinderman
Madison Square Garden
8pm
$49.50 ($39.50 for the upper level 400 section)
Wednesday August 8
Beastie Boys
Central Park Summer Stage
7pm-10pm (doors 5:30pm)
$50
Thursday August 9
Beastie Boys
McCarren Park Pool
at Lorimer St (btwn Driggs Ave & Bayard Ave)
5:30pm doors
$49
Thursday August 9
The Black Crowes
Central Park Summer Stage
6pm-10pm (doors 4:30pm)
$45
Friday, June 22, 2007
There's no home for you here
I'm very confused by the people who are touting the new White Stripes album as the best thing they've ever done while totally throwing the last album to the side. I think 'Get Behind Me Satan' was excellent. Jack White finally accepted the notion of putting down the guitar and fuzz box for a minute and writing songs with other instruments. I think it's great. But everyone else seems to be so excited that he's taken a step backward and gone back to the safety of the sound he's been treading and retreading since they formed. Remember when 'Elephant' came out and there were all those songs that were basically just rewrites of older White Stripes songs? That's what happens when you confine yourself to a box for too long, you just redo what you've already done.I guess everyone can look forward to the next album with it's newly rewritten versions of "I'm Slowly Turning into You" and "Little Cream Soda" then.
Although, I do think I'm the only person in the world that thinks "There's No Home for You Here" is better than "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground".
Friday, June 1, 2007
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